baby boy #3

While I am excited to welcome a third baby boy into our family in June, I've also struggled coming to terms with the fact that I'm having another boy.

From the moment we got married, S. and I joked about our future kids--he would say we were going to have all boys; I would say all girls, but that was only a joke right? and it stems from that fact that we grew up in households of either all boys or all girls.  At this point, I guess S.'s winning...although to mine and his surprise he was slightly disappointed at the sonogram when we found out it was a boy, but he has more faith than me in saying Heavenly Father sends the Spirit that we need.  I still thought it was sweet that he realized he would have liked a girl too.  I spent the first half of this pregnancy telling myself and others that it's probably another boy, but deep down inside, I really really hopeful for a girl.  At the sonogram, I really wasn't surprised to find out it was a boy, I was more like seriously, for real, another one.  I shed a few tears then, but not the major meltdown that I had after P.'s sonogram.  I held it together pretty well for the first day or so, then it all came loose.  For the first little bit, I would almost cry anytime I passed the little girl clothes at a store.  Again, like I said I'm excited for this new boy, but I've had to come to terms with the fact that a girl is not in my future, that I will probably never have a little girl to call my own...if we do in fact have a fourth, it will be because we feel like we should have another, not because I want to try again for a girl, because I know it will be a boy again.  I love my two boys I already have, they are sweet, but sometimes a bit overwhelming.  They were wrestling and acting crazy a few weeks ago, and I thought to myself it's only going to get more crazy, and I will be the only girl amidst all these wild boys.

When we told N., his reaction was priceless and on video (but it was too large to post)...he said bummer, I was wrong, I thought it was going to be a girl.  He then quickly got excited for another brother, and said I was going to have a lot of "boy kids." Yep, that's true, N.!

I've had sweet texts and exchanges with friends that have helped me get excited for this new little boy though.  My dad made me laugh and said only 2 more and you'll have a basketball team--he loves sports, but had lots of girls, so he used to joke with us that we were useless for a basketball or football team.  I've also had some nice retail therapy and bought some cute little boy clothes and am planning a cute nursery not in pink, but instead, orange, turquoise and lime green!  S. and I are closer to agreeing on a name, so then it will seem more real.  It's taken me a full month to get to this point, but I'm grateful for this new little boy to be joining our family...I'm excited to see how different he is from the two I already have--maybe he'll even have dark hair like me!

Cindy knows what can cheer me up...

 Seriously, aren't these outfits super-cute!

 

A friend sent me a sweet card and outfit in the mail that really cheered me up!